Skye is a lithe little girl, with giant hair and even bigger eyes. Her hair
makes up half of her personality and she is very aware of it. Being 5,
there’s a lot she just wants to know. Like why are her daddy’s boobies
bigger than her mommy’s (heck, I’d like to know too), and how come when her
daddy sits down his belly button disappears? She’s taken a keen interest in
the size of her father. He’s six feet 2 inches tall and trains athletes for
a living, but he’s not in the shape he was in at 25, but who is really? As a
wife, I am the ego booster. Oh babe, you look great, or no, I don’t think
your love handles are unattractive, I don’t even see them. Our kid on the
other hand very matter-of-factly proclaims the truth as it’s known to Skye.
One of her most recent proclamations was for her daddy to stop growing hair
on his chest and put it back on his head. “Hair isn’t supposed to be on your
chest daddy,” she said, “me and mommy don’t have hair on our chest, we have
it on our heads. You should put your hair back on your head so you can look
like the rest of the family.” He gently tried explaining to her that his
hair would not be growing back on his head and that some daddies didn’t have
hair. She looked so sad for him. She rubbed his bald head and said “Daddy,
maybe if you try really hard and if you’re really nice to mommy, God will
let your hair come back. I’m such a good girl and I’m really nice and I have
all kinds of hair.” She obviously has no shortage of self-esteem either. He
looked hopeful for a moment as though the though of asking God for his hair
back never crossed his mind, then he came back to reality.
After the hair talk she had with her dad, whenever Skye sees a hair
deficient man, she asks him if his hair just can’t grow back or if it grows
on his chest instead. I’m now on bald-guy patrol steering clear of every
hairless male that might cross our paths. Hopefully she outgrows this phase
soon, there are a lot of bald men in this world and I am exhausted trying to
protect their egos.
